Day 1
I have to admit it, I was wrong.

Every assumption I had made about this experiment was wrong.... well, not 'wrong' per se, but definitely not 'right'.

I started off with a very lofty assumption that 'guys have it easy'. My expectations going into this virtual gender-swap were that guys made friends easily, and in a virtual environment I would have plenty of new friends to make, and I might even end up being a hit with the ladies.

Not so much, as I soon found out.



I started off by creating my male avatar. His name was/is Xircon, the male counterpart of my usual avatar, Xirconnia. Where Xirconnia is petite, feminine, and uber-spunky, Xircon's looks started off resembling an angry body-builder, as shown above. I had created what I believed would be Xirconnia's opposite and an 'ideal' man. Compared to other avatars he was pretty huge, and a definite presence everywhere he went. My theory was that since I was liked well-enough as a woman, my personality would shine through and looks wouldn't matter.

Part 2 of my theory was that while Xirconnia was constantly approached and chatted with in-world by just about everyone, the majority of them male, Xircon could move easily and chat it up with everyone as well, and the majority of those that chatted with him would be female.

I was excited at first, with many idealist notions in my head of how things would be as a manatar. But a funny thing happened. When I modified my appearance and looked at the final result I felt weird and out of sorts. OK, that's an understatement. While in real life I was consistently 'one of the guys' and a bit of a tomboy, suddenly having a virtual sex change was a surreal experience and I felt a strange sense of almost dislike for this manatar I had created.

I shook the feeling off as being nerves and walked out to greet the new world I hoped would be waiting for me. A new world of open and opening doors and many new friends. My idealist nature held onto the belief that in Second Life, looks wouldn't matter because anyone can be anything, be it man to woman, woman to man, human to animal or what have you.


I was completely wrong. ONE person actually chatted spontaneously with Phase 1 of Xircon, and only because he asked a question and there was no one else in the room. I'm guessing his ultimately cultivated newbie look drew pity and suspicion.

Ironically, men I had met in-world that would IM me frequently suddenly stopped after seeing me as Xircon. I asked those I knew in-world for their opinion of my new look and it was unanimous: Xircon creeped people out.

One thing I hadn't even realized until after a female friend asked directly the one simple question "Are you attracted to men that look like this?" Wow... shock and awe. I hadn't even realized that I had created a conglomerate of male features I found attractive until it was pointed out directly to me. It was kind of weird and I learned something about myself in one fell swoop.


I began to feel a strange sense of being a stranger in a strange land as I wandered through places I had been to many times. Tutorial islands were easy to navigate all of a sudden, and I was able to explore regions without being interrupted. By anyone.

As time passed and only friends that had met me as Xirconnia or who knew me in real life would talk to the towering Xircon, I started to feel bad for the poor guy. I got to know my inner guy, and he wasn't so bad. I felt guilty for feeling suspicious of him and for disliking him at first (and I did. I even considered changing back to my original womanly form soon after becoming a manatar).


As I got to know him I did a strange thing: I gave him a past, and a background. He became a separate entity from me. While Xirconnia was me, with similar looks and the same personality as me, Xircon was a brooding intellectual. In the real world he'd be that guy at the end of the bar that no one really talked to, staring intently into his beer or liquor. He'd be the one I would talk to, because he'd have stories to tell of worldly adventures and intrigue. He'd have a head full of theories and ideas, and he'd secretly be a writer or a brilliant artist with an amazing imagination. He'd be rugged and world-weary to look at, but he would have a beautiful soul.


Rather than scrap the tortured artist I had created, I instead gave him a makeover.



I widened the eyes, relaxed the facial lines, took away the initial jaw-heaviness and huge muscles, shortened the stature and thinned the body.

I also gave him a little bit more of a smile around the corners of the mouth. Oh, and a Ghostbusters t-shirt and Chucks. :)

In an instant I had turned back the clock on my tortured artist/intellectual and given him a new lease on Second Life.... and this time TWO people, both women, spoke with him.

One unfortunately didn't speak English or French, so I struggled with trying to speak German (which I don't speak, sadly).

The other woman spoke English and the conversation went well.... I think.

Strange experience... more to come.